i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
