Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
