That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
