So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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