He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
