You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
