Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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