we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
