Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
