Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
