On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
