you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
