Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
