Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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