when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
