Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm at about main and main street
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
