Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
