Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
