I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
