Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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