She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
