But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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