But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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