I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
