her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
