I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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