um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
