Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
