well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
