dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
