Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize