Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
