I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
