smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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