That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
