He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
