She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
