Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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