the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Mom said you looked used
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
