True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
they're like a gay fantastic four
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
