i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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