i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
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