SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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