I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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