Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
