your parents love me but you hate me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
