talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
