I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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