FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
