We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize