no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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