soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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