I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
