just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
