don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
