Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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