maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
