just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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