i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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