I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize