Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
