I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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