Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
