Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
