lets start a swedish sibling band together
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
