Only a mothe r could love this liver
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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