like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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