in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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