I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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