don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
