listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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